ricochet off the walls and come into my story;

read this. damn freaking FUNNY. =)

*DADDY'S TEN RULES OF DATING*

Rule One:
~ If you pull into my carpark and honk you'd better be delivering a
package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
~ You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her,
so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep
your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
~I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to
wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their
hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends
are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I
propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing
and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in order
to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course
of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten
your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four:
~I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without
utilizing a Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it
comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
~It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each
other, we should talk about World Cup, Politics, and other issues of the day.
Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an
indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the
only word I need from you on this subject is: "early"
Rule Six:
~I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to
date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my
daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will
continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her
cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
~As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear,
and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be
on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting
on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate
Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something
useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
~The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
1. Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a
wooden stool.
2. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing,
holding hands, or happiness.
3. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce
my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything
other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her
throat.
4. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided;
movies which features chain saws are okay. 5. Hockey games are okay.
6. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
~Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding,
middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the
all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you
are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the
whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five
acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
~Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the
sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy
near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head
frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my
daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveways you should exit the car
with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in
a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early,
then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The
camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Posted by girlosophy; at 4:30 PM

me.

loves.

general wishlist.

ULTIMATE dvd wishlist.

survivor borneo.
survivor australia.
survivor africa.
survivor marquesas.
survivor thailand.
survivor amazon.
survivor pearl islands panama.
survivor all stars.
survivor vanuatu.
survivor pulau.
survivor guatemala.
survivor exile.
survivor cook islands.
~~love hina vol 1.~~
love hina vol 2.
love hina vol 3.
love hina vol 4.
love hina vol 5.
love hina vol 6.
love hina xmas special dvd [episode 25].
love hina spring special dvd [episode 26].
love hina again [episode 27].
cooking master boy [episode 1-52].
lost season 1.
lost season 2.
~~prison break season 1.~~
prison break season 2.

dvd wishlist.

the incredibles.
war of the worlds.
xmen 3;the last stand.
pirates of the caribbean 2;dead man's chest.
just my luck.
she's the man.
cars.
dukes of hazzard.
rv;runaway vacation.
superman.
superman returns.
~~failure to launch.~~
love wrecked.
scary movie.
scary movie 2.
scary movie 3.
scary movie 4.
cheaper by the dozen 2.
the break-up.
high school musical.
~~happy feet.~~
step up.
casino royale.
night at the museum.
eragon.
desperate housewives season 1.
desperate housewives season 2.
desperate housewives season 3.
numbers.
grey's anatomy.
heroes.

book wishlist.

the black stallion's blood bay colt.
the black stallion's sulky colt.
the horse tamer.
man o' war.
the black stallion legend.
the black stallion's steeplechase.
eragon.
eldest.
frank t. thompson's king arthur.
the full unabridged king arthur.
love hina book #7.
love hina book #8.
love hina book #9.
love hina book #10.
love hina book #11.
love hina book #12.
love hina book #13.
love hina book #14.
[chinese]magister negi magi book #14.
[chinese]magister negi magi book #15.
[chinese]magister negi magi book #16.
[chinese]magister negi magi book #17.
[chinese]magister negi magi book #18.
[english]magister negi magi book #11.
[english]magister negi magi book #12.
[english]magister negi magi book #13.
[english]magister negi magi book #14.
[english]magister negi magi book #15.
[english]magister negi magi book #16.
[english]magister negi magi book #17.
a.i love you #1.
a.i love you #2.
a.i love you #3.
a.i love you #4.
a.i love you #5.
a.i love you #6.
a.i love you #7.
a.i love you #8.

cd wishlist.

tatu; dangerous & moving.
freaky friday soundtrack.
ciara; goodies.
ciara; the evolution.
gwen stefani; the sweet escape.
happy feet soundtrack.
step up soundtrack.
natasha bedingfield; unwritten.
shark's tale soundtrack.
confessions of a teenage drama queen soundtrack.
blink 182; greatest hits.
she's the man soundtrack.
fort minor; the rising tied.
cascada; miracle.
cascada; everytime we touch.
missy elliot; het set.
the veronicas; everything i'm not.
new york minute soundtrack.
raise your voice soundtrack.
american hi-fi; american hi-fi.
american hi-fi; hearts on parade.
coach carter soundtrack.
evanescence; the open door.
evanescence; fallen.
rihanna; a girl like me.
rihanna; music of the sun.
three days grace; three days grace.
three days grace; one-x.
john tucker must die soundtrack.
big momma's house 2 soundtrack.
saving jane; girl next door.
hinder; extreme behaviour.
bbmak; into your head.
bbmak; sooner or later.
m2m; shades of purple.
m2m; the big room.
kaci brown; instigator.

talk to me.

Archive
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Connection
aly wee.
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ana.
angela.
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2gy 06.
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2pe 06.
2gr 06.
1pe 05.
1co 05.
1se 05.
1gr 05.

amazing race 11.
lost.
lost[abc.com].
prison break.
survivor 13.
survivor 14.